Reality Vacation

I would love to be able to take a "reality vacation". I want to escape the world with all of its issues...the details, the schedules, the bills, the pain, the worry, the stress, the work. I want to just go away, somewhere where the world can't find me. I want to dream...and in order to I need to sleep. I want to take a mental break. I want to pretend that my life is normal. I don't want to worry about when I have my kids, when I see people, what days are this and what days are that.

I sort of wonder if I will ever reach "normal". I don't consider myself to be that normal as a person anyway and so to assume I would actually obtain a level of normalcy may seem far fetched anyway.

I do know a couple things that I don't need a vacation from:
moving forward
getting stronger
being happy
being loved

I know everything else may be heavy on me sometimes, but I try really hard not to let those things get in the way of the important things. Knowing that when I have my girls that we have fun. That I can't wait to take them places and show them things because that is one of my favorite memories as a child. I loved going on trips to the mountains, to the races, to meets, etc. We were always on the go. Heck even as a teacher I was always trying to haul kids around places. I am excited that I get to expose them to new things, new environments, new people, new attitudes, etc. Already they are able to see change and they are embracing it...PTL!!!!

I have decided to take a vacation in some aspects... I can't always be chasing, fixing, clinging...maybe I need to let go and let others want to chase, fix, or cling to me. I am vacationing from the mental torture that makes me constantly fixate problems onto someone who isn't deserving. I have to hold my demons back until they decide to disappear. I can't project those haunted halls to those around me.

I may not be able to take a true vacation from my reality, but I can choose to take some mini-vacations from the chaos. I can concentrate on the amazing additions to my life that make me smile from the bottom of my heart...bring me true happiness. I can set back and look in wonderment at the beautiful soul that is before me and just treasure it. God is Good! All the Time!