What hurts? Life freaking hurts! I am on this strange roller coaster right now where I am at the peak of happiness because I have a chance to do something I have literally spent 15 years wondering about. Then I have to deal with these ridiculous valleys filled with drama from a place I don't wanna be dealing with people I don't want to deal with.
I teeter between pure bliss and pure torture and I struggle to make sure I keep the two worlds separate. Here is the thing...I only want one world...I want the safety and the joy that his love gives me. I literally haven't felt so at peace. It's my happy place.
Its why I can't live in this hurtful place much longer. I have kept quiet, I hold back, I push it all in with all my might...but I can feel it bubbling over...I can't take much more. It's like the scars are being ripped open and new wounds keep forming and I can't seem to stop it.
I am at a point where I can't allow these valleys to creep in when I am at the peak. I have to distance myself as much as possible for as long as it takes for me to become me again...not just when I am safe...but all the time. I can't let this bump in the road knock me down. Nope! I have too much to be excited about...
To anyone else riding a roller coaster...maybe letting go of that extra baggage will allow us to stay on the peaks!!!
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